


He Counted to Three

by Nightzilla333



Category: Batman (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: I blame them completely, I just wanted Jason with a baby, I was inspired by a McDonalds commercial, There is no pairing, and I made one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 15:51:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8333473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightzilla333/pseuds/Nightzilla333
Summary: This was the third time in this week alone that the baby woke him up with its crying. He counted to three, desperately trying to fall back asleep and ignore the crying. 
Beta'd by The_Musketeers_29





	

Jason groaned and rolled over, grabbing the edge of his pillow to cover his exposed ear. This was the third time in this week alone that the baby woke him up with its crying. He counted to three, desperately trying to fall back asleep and ignore the crying. He counted to three, and he gave up, his eyes opening to view the clock on his nightstand. The bright, glaring red numbers shone with the number five. He rolled onto his back, sighing out in relief as the mother next door came in to shush the wailing babe. The soft sounds of a lullaby being sung was muffled slightly by the walls, but not enough to not be heard. Jason closed his sore eyes, and drifted back into sleep, the sounds of a voice singing lulling him down just as it lulled the baby.

*** 

The plastic book bag dangled from his one arm, keys in that hand, his other arm wrapped in a cast. A lucky hit in from a thug with a crowbar broke the bone, and he was effectively benched until it was healed. His neighbour was also at her door, juggling a cellphone tucked between her ear and shoulder with the babe on her hip, grocery bags on the ground and on her other arm, and keys in her hand. She seemed to be having an argument with the person over the phone.

The baby was looking at him, quiet. One of its hands was curled in its mother’s clothing, the other holding onto a toy bear, looking like it had seen better days. Jason crossed his eyes at the baby, smiling as the babe babbled at Jason, and dropped the toy bear on the ground to reach for him.  
Jason unlocked his door and tossed his book bag inside onto his couch. He was just shrugging out of his jacket when he heard the bang of the door hitting a wall next door. Jason shook his head and hung up his jacket, fishing his phone out of his pocket. A few more bangs were heard before silence finally settled.

Jason grabbed his new book and settled down on his couch. He performed a balancing act between his phone and book and counted to three. He counted to three, listening for the crying to start, and when it didn’t, he counted to three and started to read.

***

The crying woke him up again, following the same pattern as always. He doesn’t even need to look at the clock to know that it was five o’clock in the morning. It was the time that the babe woke up every morning. It shouldn’t take longer than a minute for the mother next door to respond, and when she does he’ll be able to go back to sleep. It wasn’t as bad as it usually was when he was woken up by the baby, seeing as he hasn’t been on patrol due to his arm and has actually been able to get a steady and healthy amount of sleep. He almost feels like he can join the living again.

The babe was still crying, and Jason frowned, looking over at his clock on the night stand. The bright, red glaring numbers showed that five minutes have passed. Jason closed his eyes and counted to three. He counted to three once more when the crying didn’t stop, and he counted to three again just to make sure. When the crying still didn’t stop he tossed off his covers and slipped on a pair of sweat pants and left his room. He could still hear the babes wailing as he walked through the apartment. He grabbed his keys and his phone and slipped on a pair of runners and left his apartment. He walked five steps to the right, stooped down to pick up the toy bear laying on the ground and started to bang on the door. He counted to three before he banged on the door again. He counted to three. When his neighbor didn’t answer and the crying continued he broke the lock and entered the apartment. He called out a hello and heard the shower running.

He stood at the door way, hesitating while he counted to three. He heard no response to his call and walked through the apartment, making his way towards the sound of a baby crying and a shower running. The bathroom had light shining out from behind the slightly cracked open door, and he knocked on the wall next to the door. He called out hello once more after a count of three, and when he received no answer, he opened the door.

The shower was running, the baby was crying, and his neighbour was laying twisted in the shower. Jason dropped everything he was holding and checked his neighbours pulse. It was there, but barely, and there was blood flowing out of her head from an unseen wound. The metal shower rod and the shower curtain laid across her. Jason backed away and grabbed his phone and dialed 911. He asked for an ambulance. His neighbour slipped in the shower, her pulse seems weak, she’s bleeding a lot, and her baby was still crying.

Jason counted to three, hung up the phone after giving any information that was needed, and went to go shush the baby.

*** 

Jason didn’t get any more sleep that night. For some reason he was left in charge of the baby. Maybe because he was the one who found his neighbour. Maybe because he said that he was his neighbour’s boyfriend when he called the ambulance and gave his report on what he found. He was fine taking care of the baby. He took it to his apartment, borrowing a few of the baby’s items and moving them over. The baby’s crib was in his room. The highchair was at his table. His weapons were put on higher shelves and hidden away from the baby. The baby still woke up at five in the morning like clockwork, crying its tiny lungs out. Jason still woke along with the baby, but this time it was his turn to shush it. He still doesn’t know the baby’s name. He does now know that the baby is a girl.

He calls her Jane.

*** 

Jason got a phone call half way through his second week with Jane. His neighbour had woken up. Jason was on his way to the hospital on the bus, Jane sitting on his lap. He was babbling at the baby, but was nervous. Sure, he could always change his name and make himself disappear, but still.

Jason counted to three and pulled the string on the bus so he could get off at the needed stop. He counted to three, grabbed the bundled up baby, and walked off the bus. He counted to three and entered the hospital. He counted to three, counted to three, and counted to three and approached the receptionist and gave the name of his neighbour. He received the floor and the room number and he entered the elevator. He counted to three in the elevator. He counted to three while he was holding Jane and he counted to three, and he counted to three. The elevator dinged and he counted to three and left it. He walked down the hallway and found the room and he counted to three. Jane beat his chest and squawked at him. Jason closed his eyes, counted to three, and knocked.

He entered on hello.

*** 

Jason was performing another balancing act between him and the baby. His neighbour, while concerned at first, thanked him for taking care of her baby. She doesn’t have any family in the country. The father skipped town. She was left with taking care of the baby on her own. She thanked him for checking in on her. She apologized for the trouble that she caused. Jason told her that she didn’t need to apologize. It was no trouble taking care of her baby. He grew up in Gotham. You take care of each other, because no one else will. She helps him with the stress that he deals with constantly. She asked him to never claim to be her boyfriend again without her permission, or she’ll break his nose. He laughed and agreed.

Now he was at home, the baby balanced on his hip. He was making mac’n’cheese and the baby didn’t want to be put down. It wasn’t easy to balance the baby on his hip and hold it with his good hand, while stirring the pasta with his broken hand. It wasn’t easy, but he managed.

It’s not like he was feeding the baby mac’n’cheese. That’s what baby food is for. The mac’n’cheese was for him, because he didn’t actually want to properly cook himself a supper tonight. He was considering himself lucky.

Usually one of the bats popped in to check on him at this point. There weren’t any cameras for Barbara to monitor in his apartment. He does a sweep for them whenever he comes back into his apartment. He thinks Barbara gave up on monitoring him. He hasn’t found any in a few months now.

Usually someone just drops by. Sometimes it is Dick. Sometimes it is Damian. Sometimes it is Tim.

He hopes it is Tim. Tim wouldn’t blab to Batman about Jason having a baby. Dick might. He would do it by accident. Damian would, just to spite him. Cass might, but that depends on how he and her are getting along. Steph might, but she won’t if he promises pancakes. Barbara would, just to spite him, like Damian, but perhaps not, because he would drop to his knees and beg her not to tell the Bat. But that depends on Jason’s and Barbara’s mood. He doesn’t really talk to the rest of the bats. Mainly because they don’t pester him. The only other people he would have to worry about would be Kori and Roy, but with one in space leading a planet and the other doing whatever the hell it is that he’s doing Jason isn’t too concerned about those two.

Jason started to hum, and the baby started beating his chest. He continued to stir the pot full of pasta, and looked down at her when she started to babble. His smile fell when he noticed that Jane was looking over his arm and was staring at what, he assumed, was the window.  
Jason counted to three, swallowed, turned the heat down on the pot, and counted to three. He counted to three and turned around.

His luck had ran out. At his window staring in at him was Nightwing. Not Dick. He was wearing a mask, and anyone who knows about the masks knows that you don’t call them by their names while they’re wearing a mask. Jason sighed, counted to three, and walked away from the stove. He ignored Jane’s shrill protests and put her in her highchair. Jason counted to three and stared at Nightwing, a frown on his face. He counted to three and Nightwing waved at him, and motioned at the locked window, asking to be let in. Jason counted to three, counted to three again, and counted to three just to make sure and sighed. He let Nightwing in, and he counted to three.

***

Jason smiled at his neighbour and counted to three. She was finally released from the hospital, and he was helping her move all of the baby’s things back into her apartment. The baby was currently tucked away in her play pen. He was glad that there was no hard feelings between them, and he promised to fix her door. While she was in the hospital Jason took care of her apartment, and had cleaned out the food that had gone bad from the fridge, as well as pay her rent and repair her broken lock.

Hey, it’s Gotham City. Landlords are usually crooked without being in Gotham. Who knows what they would have done if he hadn’t paid for it.

Jason and his neighbour worked in tangent.

***

Jason groaned and rolled over, grabbing the edge of his pillow to cover his exposed ear. The cast was taken off of his arm a couple of days after his neighbour had returned, and he was back on patrol. The babe’s wailing cut through the thin walls of his apartment, and he opened his eyes. Five o’clock stared back at him in bright, angry red numbers. He closed his eyes and tried to grasp the fleeing strands of sleep. His neighbour was shushing the baby, but it was too late.

He sat up and rubbed at his face. He slipped on a pair of sweatpants and shrugged on his jacket. He grabbed his keys and his phone and slipped on his shoes. He opened the door and walked out. He locked his apartment and left the building.

He returned one hour twenty minutes later, the paper bag holding fast food clutched in his hands. On the floor outside of his neighbour’s door sat the teddy bear that had seen better days. He stood at his door, staring at the toy. He sighed and walked the five steps to the right and picked up the toy. He knocked on the door.

It creaked open and Jason smiled at his neighbour. He lifted the bag of food and the toy bear as a show of peace and his neighbour stepped aside to let him in. He passed her the food and went to the babe. She babbled at him and lifted her chubby arms. Jason smiled at the babe and started to play with her.

His neighbour ate the fast food that he bought for himself and Jason didn’t count to three.

**Author's Note:**

> I completely blame that stupid McDonald's commercial with the old man and the baby. I watched the entire thing when I could skip it on YouTube because it reminded me of something Jason would potentially do. Then I just kind of went with it. I went with Jane for the baby for two reasons: Jane Doe and Jane Austin. Jane Doe is the name that is given to an unknown female victim, and Jane Austin is a classic female author. I thought it fit.


End file.
